So I be written in the Book of Love
I do not care about that Book above.
Erase my name or write it as you will,
So I be written in the book of Love
Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyám
Today I go in for another chemotherapy treatment...nearly the last. I actually enjoy going there since Dr. Muldoon is a joy and the staff at the Genesis Center in Hot Springs make me feel like I walk on water. Who says that medicine today is cold and unfeeling? I am convinced these folks at the Center are Angels made flesh. At the very least they are a deep and wonderful blessing!
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Wish they did not insist on shooting me up with poison nearly every time I go there!
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Usually I give you an upbeat assessment of my situation. But today I will not do so. I have been assailed by strange fears and anxieties. Not about my health. More recent lab reports indicate that all continues to go well in that realm. I am also not one to be overly disturbed by the Fate that awaits us all.
Rather it is a more nebulous feeling of tension and dread that often descends upon me at night and disturbs my sleep. I have been told that this may be yet another artifact of the therapy I am receiving and will resolve in the days following the completion of my chemotherapy in December.
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Perhaps.
I trust this is so. For whatever the miasma that has descended upon me I find it very distressing.
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I suspect I am about to develop a new and deeper appreciation of the writings of Kafka ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Metamorphosis )and Edvard Munch!
A slightly different topic here. I am not very political generally and especially not this year since I was not able to vote and often am asleep! But, this comment I saw really struck home with me and I wanted to share it. (see below)
Even with the anxiety now visiting me I am aware of the more general fear and anxiety that underpins the rage and righteousness, the need to exclude and judge that pervades the lives of many people. I wonder why it is so much with us these days?
Judy
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PS: the complete final words from the Scopes trial:
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PPS: Jeff told me of a wonderful restaurant just south of Yosemite. He often stays in the historic Wawona Hotel in the southern portion of the park which I love myself. I hope I get to return someday. Anyway, the restaurant is called Crab Cakes in Oakhurst ( http://www.crabcakes-sweetdreams.com/ ) owned by Laura and Roman Zubicki. He said the food was wonderful...the best you can get in the area. I will have to go. I must! I also learned that Laura and Roman lost their 16 yo son, Danny to a rare cancer (rhabdomyosarcoma) just last month. My heart goes out to you and your other son, Andrzej! I wish you all the best in this world.
8 comments:
Dear Judy,
Forget going to Yosemite and the Wawona with anyone else. Geri and I will have to transport you to your next trip in Yosemite and a feast at Crabcakes. Jeffrey and Evan (now 19) just left for the University of California, Santa Barbara. I can hardly imagine how Laura and Roman must feel upon the loss of their son. I, too, am united with them in my heart and soul.
Geri and I are completely with you in what you say elsewhere in your blog. We live in California and it is barely imaginable that this Prop 8 thing passed. What an embarrassment. You can just imagine Geri...she is close to stroking out and is manning the ramparts to launch a counteroffensive transported by outrage and dismay.
I share her feelings with a bit less intensity. A constitutional difference only, I assure you!
You mentioned the fantabulous Axototl in you "Public Vices" blog. Did I ever mention that as a youth, I had one as a pet?
They are very odd... No matter where you move they turn directly toward you and stare with unmerciful intensity. They also seem to live forever and are impossible to accidentally kill. (or did I just practice good husbandry?) Seems the Mexicans have managed to perfect the killing part though. When I moved to the coast I palmed it off on some unsuspecting girlfriend.
Much, much love!
Richard
PS I know a bit about strange, free floating anxiety coming from nowhere. You are correct..."this, too, will pass".
PPS Do you think that Dr. Muldoon and his admirable staff will accept patients commuting to them cross-country for just general upkeep?
Judy,
Another word or two.
Geri, my lovely bride of 20 plus years, is away in Chicago probably stuffing on delicious deep dish pizzas and wowing the fellows with her eternal, ravishing beauty.
To assuage my loss I plan to get together with your son tonight and, following your lead, view all of "The Loved One". I cannot wait to see Mr. Joyboy and "beauty in every form" played out across our big screen.
Jeff and I will raise a toast to you as Jonathan Winters calls out for more love in the world!!
Ever your servant,
Ricardo!
Wow. Go Mz Flounce!
Olbermann can be very powerful when not behaving like a teenager in a pissing match with Bill O'Reilly.
XOX,
Jenny
Dear Ms. Judy,
I don't really care what you write I just relish the way you write!
Surely you've written a book? or a play? or something?
Would you send me a copy of everything you have written?
Paula
Dear Mom,
Have a good sleep and read with the loving folks at the Genesis Center today.
Chip is doing very, very well. The investigation of his colon cancer was done laparoscopically so there was little trauma. He is recovering very swiftly.
The doctor thinks that the cancer may be caught early enough that the removal of the tumor will have completely cured him.
Only the results of the more extensive biopsies (and time) will tell the complete tale.
Still...more good news.
I love you so very much!
Janet
Dear Judy,
I feel like I know you. Good friends with so many that adore you here on the West Coast.
My baby boy, Max, who is just mastering the English language, wants to share with you the secrets of fruit salad to nail you complete recovery.
"Fruit salad is lettuce, tomatoes, lemons, apples, bananas and the
most secret ingredient; OLIVES!"
Jen
Dear Judy,
We cannot let the rest of your West Coast Contingent continue to garner all the limelight.
Casa Eldar has been holding you in our thoughts and imagination nonstop these many weeks since your diagnosis. Every Shabat on Friday we say a prayer for you.
Jeff may have told you I was about to hop a flight to Hot Springs and wait on you hand and foot until he nixed the plan saying that your worshipful Paul Edmund had all the bases covered.
But, I'll be there the second you beckon.
Alexandra thinks you should plan another trip to our home-away-from-home at Spannocchia. Italy and Siena are always wonderful. Wouldn't it be great to hang out there once again? Even though they are the best, we might leave our two little ones, Audrey and Tilly behind this time for an even more zen like experience.
All of us send you our love!
Nadav
I think I can understand why so many people find you so appealing and admirable. Wish we could be friends.
I agree with Paula. I find you style of writing to be both exciting and engaging. You had better get back in the bloom of health so you can write and write and write!
You and I can steal away together to Italy and leave Paul and those Eldar's and the rest of your customary hangers-on so that you can read to me your latest compositions!
With warmest regards,
Elkan
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