Moonglow in my Eyes

I have a twinkle in my eye again this early morn.
Yes, MizFlounce has been out stargazing again.

As you know, the moon has become a Star!

Last night La Bella Luna gave

her greatest performance in a generation...

Magnificent Moon

Lake Hamilton

12 December 2008

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Later: I have just returned with Paul from Hot Springs. We had a delightful junket out to make a surprise visit to Doris and Lyle Fellows (Antique Fellows and Friends, 1819 Central Avenue Hot Springs, AR 71901. Tel: (501) 623-2012, http://www.rubylane.com/shops/antiquefellows/). This is where I sell MY antiques. Get on over there and have your checkbooks out! Since I actually buy more from Doris than I sell myself I desperately need you to subsidize my addiction to her wonderful antiques and jewelry!

I just love Doris and all the folks that work there. We have so much fun and they shower me with love and devotion. I return the sentiment, I assure you!

Doris Fellows & Judy 'FraudFighter' Jones!

MizFlounce cleans up the Books

Still Friends! .

How I normally Check Out my Antique Store

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XXXmas Greetings from N'awlins

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http://www.careerbuilder.com/monk-e-mail/?mid=28953672

"Mommy Dearest,

Wet, luscious snow flakes are floating down.

I ran out and laid down in the front yard in my Panties

to let the Frosty Flakes fill my Belly Button.

I smushed our camera.

Here is a self drawn pic for you.

It is not a Rorschach.

QueenJanita"

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http://www.careerbuilder.com/monk-e-mail/?mid=28953626

"Dear Daughter,

Your tableau vivant* brings to mind

the words of Winnie the Pooh:

'did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?'

You have frozen my brain even without the snow.

A true Christmas Miracle!

With Luv in my Heart!

Mother

PS: don't reveal your new hobby to BigBiscuits

PPS: are you Barbarella** come to us from the future?"

PPS: Pod believes your neighbors are in danger. You may have let too much snow pile up.
One of those science programs he watches demonstrates the principle.
This is the South. You will be lynched.

QueenJanita's XXXmas Ice Crack

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I am not quite certain what Queen Janita is doing out there with the snow in her front yard but I will suggest she purchase this very edifying piece to reflect deeply upon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-8u3Mr5xAM. We may save her yet! Without "intervention" I fear QueenJanita may become too tawdry and tainted, albeit yipping and yapping happily in her anti-depressed condition, for use in our upcoming exquisite production of "Gossamer Gasps" on American Idol.
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XXXmas has truly arrived!

Judy (via jeff)

*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tableaux_vivants

**http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uwNEnh9uaM

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Reflections on Dying

Tuesday while Paul and I were at the cancer treatment center a 56 year old gentlemen was talking with us. He was very thin and frail. You could tell he had once been a huge linebacker sort of fellow but now he was barely able to stand and looked like an escapee from a concentration camp. We learned that he had lung cancer and his cancer had returned after an initial harrowing course of treatment. He was now back for a series of nine more chemotherapies with little likelihood of obtaining any benefit. I am not quite certain why he was talking to us. Supposedly comparing notes on insurance but at our ages on Medicare there was little bearing our experience had on his own. Otherwise his situation was even more bleak than just his physical situation...3 younger children at home and no money. You can imagine.

I was very shaken by this. Other than my obvious concern for another person in distress I had to wonder why he would bother going this far. The pain and discomfort had been breathtaking for him and his family and would only get worse with virtually no chance of cure or even remission. The financial and emotional drain on himself and his family was stunning.

I would never choose his way of dealing with death. If it comes to this I would prefer to leave under my own steam ( click to download: http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=b79ac729027ffffed2db6fb9a8902bda, The Peaceful Pill by Philip Nitschke) ( and very good http://icarusfilms.com/new2005/made.html )rather than have my life artificially extended. And I would do it with complete conviction and no sense of regret. Jonathan Miller, in his third and last segment of his excellent series, A Rough Guide to Disbelief, says it as if I had written the words myself.

"I am also rattled by some of the more complacent assumptions I find amongst my friends and acquaintances that my godlessness implies some sort of lack of seriousness on my part, that people like me have failed to recognize the existence of the soul and, above all, of its immortality.
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Well, to be quite frank I find this to be somewhat impudent. The fact that I entertain no prospects whatever of some sort of subsequent existence doesn’t mean that I am indifferent to the fact that I, like everyone else, must die.
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As I get older I become more closely if vicariously acquainted with death and disease. In fact, as time goes by, I find myself opening the obituary pages of the newspapers with increasing apprehension. But all the same, I don’t find myself wondering where these departed friends, relatives or colleagues now are. As far as I’m concerned they are nowhere They have simply (or, perhaps, not quite so simply) ceased to be.
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So, how about my own death, my own ceasing to be?
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Naturally, I think about it because I am now much nearer to it than I was. I think about how it will be. Will it be painful, for example? Still, I don’t think about it in terms of will I, after all I’ve committed myself to [disbelief], be shown to be a fool by waking up somewhere else and finding that there is something after all…and will my face be red?
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The thought of death is constantly there. I know it is unlikely now that I’ll see my grandchildren get married or that I will even see or know my great-grandchildren. In other words I have to loosen my hold on the future.
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What’s more, I may be in a situation where death can’t come too quickly because I’ll be in pain, distressed, weak and disabled. I want to be able to reach for the bell and say, “this is where I get off”.
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I don’t find it difficult to imagine not existing. I don’t think about it at all really. What I am frightened of is, perhaps, that near death there might be certain experiences associated with it that are painful and frightening from which one cannot excape for the moment. It is not the fear of death but the mental states that sometimes exist when things are falling to bits. I am not looking forward to that.

I am encouraged by the fact there are perfectly ordinary people who confront their forthcoming extinction with graceful equanimity without having to fall back on unintelligible hopes for a future state."

It is possible to view this complete 3 part BBC series online at:

http://www.veoh.com/channels/briefhistoryofdisbelief

I wonder why it is that most of us try to hold on long after our time is finished? What follows is a lovely aria. Although using a metaphor of romantic love is not quite appropriate to the situation of desiring life like a Beloved who is rejecting us ... it will have to do.

Fedora by Giordano, Rolando Villazon Tenor

Love forbids you not to love

Your gentle hand,

while it repulses me,

Wants my hand to grasp it;

Your eye is saying:“I love you!”

although your lip says: I will not love you”

(Amor ti vieta di non amar.La man tua lieve,che mi respinge,cercava la stretta della mia man.La tua pupilla esprime:‘T’amo” se il labbro dice. Non t’amero!’)

Judy (via Jeff)

A Reason to Live?

Tamara makes her Case!

"Dear Aunt Judy, I saw in one of your blogs you can hardly find a reason to get up in the morning. I am into sheep now (no, not in the kinky way!). Why don't you and Paul let me live with the lambies in your extra bedroom? That will get you going! Tamara PS I found this great cartoon that made me think of you!"

"My Dear, Dear Tamara, My...aren't you pretty these days? Love the hair! Love the glasses! The matching hair beret ain't bad either. Did you puff up your lips? I did my research. Given that your lambies will use my Verandah Shangri-La as a perch and my altheas below cannot tolerate their droppings I will have to pass on your lovely offer. In fact, the mental image of the sheep poopies compels me to thank you for your delightful cartoon. L & K's, Aunt Judy"

WHAT NEXT??!

Judy, Stoic (via jeff)

NB: Medical update....Dr. Muldoon told me yesterday that my CA-125 (http://ovariancancer.jhmi.edu/ca125qa.cfm) continues to move downward and is now at 37. Normal ranges are approximately 0 - 35. As you may recall this is a blood marker than can detect about 80% of ovarian cancers in more advanced stages. Mine seems to be one of those types of ovarian cancer. CA-125 level can be measured in sequentially over time during a chemotherapy treatment to assess the value of the treatment. My levels have continue to go down and are very near normal. When I complete treatment I will have the CA-125 levels regularly done. If they were to suddenly progress upwards this would be a strong indicator that my cancer was no longer in remission. Also, I began to feel surprisingly strong and alert in just one week or so from my last treatment which is an amazingly fast rebound for me.

I think my last chemotherapy treatment will occur sometime around:

January 7th 2009!

Wise advice from a friend

Zooming out for my Blood Booster this morning

Later

"I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat of your new one to inflict instant death when it bites my butt.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's Novena has granted my every wish. Your friend, K"


Blame it on the Bosa Nova!!

No, seriously, Wise Words, Kelsey. Times are tough and folks are getting desperate. En garde!! The inspiration you have given me by ferreting out these wise words should shine bright for us all. I suspect a deeper motive for providing me with sober approaches to daily living is that you have noticed my mood has been as high as the Hindenburg on that gaseously hot evening of 6 May 1937. Do you wish merely to take me down a notch or two before I, too, go supernova? Even more wise! Stitch in time and all that.

Yet, I must speak out in defense of our new toilets. Big Biscuits thoroughly researched what was latest and greatest in bathroom waste removal. My burly nephews, Pod and Shot, installed these $1000 per jewels in each of our toilettes. Now we have a true Suburban Paradiso by the Lake. Paul and I are coddled from stem to stern. No cranny is o'erlooked.

Once plugged in the fun begins! Instead of lashing, burning Spider bites you will feel a vibration slowly spread upward from your nether realms. Next soft zephyrs blow across various orifices to stimulate vigorous expulsions. Should this fail a rubber noose clamps round your buttocks and a "high vacuum jolt" rips everything out you. A specially designed Nipponese "blowback reverse-plunger" helps retain your intestines. Gentle jets of warm water clean and caress your bottom then puffs of desert air infused with baby powders dry, fortify and pucker your privates. Should you be either too old or too fat to rise (albeit lighter for your release) you can hit the red lever to your right and the powerful vacuum reverses itself to shoot a 200 mph blast of air into your rump shooting you at the nearest door. The principle is the same as a pellet gun.

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When you visit you will place your tiney hiney on a Toto that most speaks to you (http://www.performancetoilets.com/ ). Our friend, Victor Feske, says that Captain Horatio Hornblower, his hero, would use one if he were to drop by for a visit. I've never met Horatio (now an Admiral, I think?) but Vic makes him sound the soul of rectitude and good taste. Drop on by. Cap, and take a seat. You can, too!!

Who could ask for more? Life is truly good...

Well Cleansed,
Judy (via jeff)

PS From the news last night a famous historian fully supports my friend, K, and her sense of the Zeitgeist:

The Zeitgeist

A New Day Dawning

Yes, the Rosy Fingered Dawn has called to me. My cheeks pink to match the sky, lips like rosebuds, eyes dewy! MizFlounce is at her best following my wonderful nights' sleep. The best slumber I've had since my life with Chemo began.

How can I remain indoors with so much beauty and self-satisfaction to display? I snapped my fingers and had long-suffering Paul collect my travel throne. We found the perfect spot for me at the end of the rainbow where I further filled myself with soft light and brimming good feelings.

I think today is going to be a great day. I certainly feel it right now!

Good to the last drop,

Judy (via jeff)

PS Jeff has suggested that I be his partner in the stage adaptation of "Gossamer Gasps" which he will be performing on American Idol in 2009. I am very enthused about the project!! I seem to recall having been approached many times for television and movie roles but never have I traipsed across the Big or Little Screen (I don't think). My son and I will perfect our steps over the Christmas Holidays...if Queen Janita, my baby girl, does not get too jealous and obstreperous!

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American Idols .

Queen Janita Disapproves! '
Queen Janita Smiles: Vintage 1958

Reality Check

My children, health professionals, have suggested I take a more measured approach to my confabulated memories and day-to-day life. Although they appreciate some of my flights of fancy concerning where life might go if my white blood cells don't get jacked up properly or the Titanic Tussle that will result should Janet get uppity during her upcoming Holiday Hangout here (see yesterday's blog) they fear for my blood pressure if not my sanity should I expand those lines of thought and others previously manifested on these pages.

( NB: If you check my medical records you will see me blood pressure has plummeted to that of a mollusk or some other related bivalve...I forget. The point being I am almost beatifically low key. Psychological tests reveal my mental state is "otherworldly" )

The product of my loins also have shed light on my own history. They dare to refute my assertion in yesterday's note that I was hounded, night and day, by clouds of plant and animal fiends while striving to carve out a life on the swampy Plantation. I am pleased to report that both recall hearing the hoof beat of raucous rats nearly every evening in the attic, Jeff did have a cockroach fly into his mouth (according to Janet) and both remember the nearly paleolithic creature that jumped off the kitchen counter, Sunday Chicken hanging from its Maw, when we walked in from Church one sunny morn. There is considerable controversy whether this beast was a type of python or puma. Oh! and Janet justed popped out with via speakerphone, "don't forget about the choking mosquito fogs that would suffocate cattle!"

Both of my babies have soothing memories of me coating them with warm sprays of DDT every evening to chase the bedbugs and malaria away.

Well! I did something right....

Now, for public display and personal cover, I will share some of my more soothing images and thoughts.

This morning I shall go for a brief stroll after I share the morning break-fast with my dear husband, Paul. No doubt, he will accompany me after he has cleaned up the amazingly wholesome and delicious breakfast he is now preparing.

Our home here by lovely Lake Hamilton is a winter wonderland. Paul and I are joined with Mother Earth and the boundless beauty of Nature as we gaze, hand in hand, out upon the beneficent scene that embraces us here. Blessings abound you can be sure!

Later I will study my Bible then read an edifying text or two by C. S. Lewis and contemplate the wisdom of his worldview. Lunch is certain to be tasty and healthy as Paul toddles out with my tray and flower to serve me by the lake. Breath exercises, visualization and some toning stretches will punctuate my afternoon, I would suspect, as Paul gives me a pressure point massage. Finally, I will glide into my evening and a candlelit dinner; Bach's Goldberg Variations playing in the background.

Such is a typical day for me! Not the frightful ones I sometimes imagine in this blog.

Do I hear you thinking, "where there is a fear there is a wish"?

Whoops....nearly slipped up there. Forget I wrote that!!

Centered,
Judy (via jeff)

Paul helps achieve

Perfect Breath Technique

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My Greatest Fear

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