Günther, Physical TherapistThings are looking up! My physical therapist, Günther, came by for the first time today and urged me to swing my tootsies high. His theory is that this will stimulate "blood brain circulation" and improve self-esteem. Günther will be putting steel in my spine and springs in my hips twice a week. We shall wait and see if any blood starts flowing in my head...
I already feel like a wound-up whirligig! His words of frenzied wisdom buzz round my head non-stop. His touch was profoundly healing. The whole package ... enthralling.
Herr G expects me to be doing hopping hand-stands in near future. Perhaps Big Biscuits will join in the fun? I can see us now...arms locked bouncing up and down Main Street in Hot Springs.
I will have to bring this simple technique to the attention of Holli, Chocolate Impresario, for the further empowerment of our local womenfolk.
Finally something new and different around this less than invigorating corner of the planet! When Herr G visits me again he won't know what hit him. Not only will I be goose steppin' up, down and sidewise I also intend to lay some moves on him. Wait til he gets a load of my jitterbug and Lindy Hop!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qg2yd-xD5RA
Filled with the Force...
Judy (via jeff)
*Der Stechschritt (literally: "piercing step"): the goose step is a special step that women of power are adopting throughout the American South. Historically, this prancing footwork was performed in exciting, fun-filled parades by persons of blondness. These days Southern ladies of discernment are the ones who swing their leg from the vertical to a horizontal, fully extended position only to slap that rigid leg and foot down on the pavement with a bang. Then the next leg. And so on in perpetuity. This 'high-steppin' , as it is called in places like Charleston and Little Rock, requires formidable dexterity, balance and force of will. The purpose of high-steppin' is to demonstrate absolute mechanized discipline and superiority. It also increases blood flow to the head.
**Here are the study videos Günther left for me...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6PxkeOIMA8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGp0hCxSg98
He also suggests I learn this party trick to rid myself of unwanted house guests:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HX_5zIXxKEU
.
11 comments:
Dear Mrs. Jones,
I take it that the translation of this blog entry is you are now so plugged in with your Home Health Care team they have sent out a physical therapist for you?
I also gather you are being encouraged to walk more...and definitely not to shuffle.
Brava! Do exactly as Herr Günther or Shelly Peasmith (or whomever your actually have as a PT person)suggests you do...
Rooting for you,
Marla
Judy,
Remember...you may be feeling way better but you are no ingénue. One of those foot slap things you are doing and the whole leg might fly off!!
I think I sense some spark of desire between you and your physical therapist? Watch out. That hound dawg of a husband is right there in your teeth. He may be good for heavy liftin' in a jitterbug situation but could spell trouble otherwise.
Still, I am glad you are clearly feeling a wee bit better. I just doubt you have your wits fully about you yet.
Your concerned Malvern neighbor,
Mildred (and Merle...maybe)
Mizflounce,
I am so relieved that the mental clouds seem to be clearing for you. I was on pins-and-needles waiting for the other shoe to drop. Never did I think it would take the form of this whole foot slapping stuff you are up to with that very suspect Günther person.
I hope Marla is right and that your blog entry is just a hyped up, colorful metaphor that reveals a "deeper" truth: you are moving around a bit more and know what day it is? You aren't really being tossed through the air by Big Biscuits are you?
Squads of Southern Ladies 'high-steppin' round Little Rock sounds pretty kinky and grand to me though. Be certain your chocolate friend gets all the gals at the Genesis Center to do the same. That will make your treatments there pass so much more quickly!
Rodger
I am Shirley's sister. Our little secret is that we are both married to Merle.
Can you imagine! Here in Malvern of all places.
Mildred
Dear Judy,
I agree with Marla. I bet your physical therapist is actually named Wilbur or Amber and has you watch Richard Simmons tapes in our off time for stimulation.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCJkuXSTymk
But, whatever rocks your boat!
If there is some Herr G running in and out of Shangri-La watch out. Looks like a schlechter Esel (bad ass) to me.
Maurice
Maurice
MizFlounce,
I think your jaw gets bigger when you are hi steppin?
Well, the picture makes it look that way.
Are you jacket and boots environmentally correct? I am assuming they are biodegradable and/or from a renewable resource like dyed pig gut?
Whatever you are dressed in it looks very daring and tough. Love it! The 1942 Aryan wig is also the cats meow. Or, has your hair grown back?
Melinda
Mrs. Jones,
Reading what you have just written I have to venture an opinion. For your sake. With love in my heart.
I don't think that any reasonable person would consider you to be in full possession of your senses.
That or one of your pills is laced with acid.
You still have a ways to go.
Reggie
Judy,
I want to see a picture of your doctor...Muldoon is it...high stepping and dripping chocolate.
Now THAT would really make your visit to the Genesis Center today worth the price of admission.
Good luck with your CT scan. Hope it shows nothing but a wonderfully eccentric blob of Judy brain and no extra 'nasty bits'...
Love you!
Tess
Dear Judy,
I love your boots. They look as if they could be used to help keep my hubby, Rolf, in line. He has been full of himself and "uppity" (as you would say) lately. Now that I think about it my kids are definitely in need of more than the whip lately.
Did your CT scan happen. When will you have the results?
Bitsy
Judy,
I heard that Dr. Muldoon does that eye thing Günther is teaching you as he reads your tests results.
Do tell all!
Dinky
the redneck contingent seems to have latched on to you today, Judy...
Paul
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